A New Year Down Under

Happy 2015 from Down Under! :) I have to say, spending the holidays in Australia has been a bit of a surreal experience. Unlike America, the far majority of people don't decorate their home for the holidays. Going around town and the suburbs, I think maybe 1 in 50 houses put up decorations, and the far majority of those are just a tree. I can think of maybe 10 houses I saw that had outside decorations and lights, and only 2 with the blow-up lawn decorations (and yes, Paul REALLY wants those when we finally get our own house). That in itself was odd. Even the stores had minimal decorations. Some would have drawings on the windows, a few had garlands or trees, but the far majority looked just like any other time of year. This was the main decoration at a local centre, HarborTown:

Although I think my favorite are what locals affectionately refer to as the "gay santas" at the iconic Rundle Mall in the Center of Adelaide:

Of course, coming from New England, the most expected odd part of being in Down Under for the holidays was the heat. I spend a holiday season in Florida a few years ago, so I know what it is to have a warm holiday season. But the heat, combined with the lack of decorations, made it strange. Christmas Day itself was actually surprisingly cold (usually it is around 102F on Christmas Day). It only got up to about 70F that day, and rained off and on. But we still had a wonderful time, being together.

I learned that in Australia, Santa's sleigh is pulled by "bangaroos" (bush kangaroos), and he wears board shorts, a tank top and thongs (flip-flops). And it seems that everyone wants to get in on the act:

Paul had to work Christmas Eve, Boxing Day (the day after Christmas, which, it turns out, is becoming the Australian equivalent to the U.S.'s "Black Friday"), New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, so our holiday wasn't quite what we had hoped it would be, but were grateful to be together. As is also tradition for me, I give you a quick look back at 2014: First and foremost, this was the year that my virtual village from around the world came together to support Paul and I. Our wedding in November 2013 and the flight for Paul to return to Australia ahead of me to get things set up pretty much wiped out our meager savings. We knew that once we applied for my visa, it could be a year before approval, and we had no idea how long it would be before we could afford the $3,200 to pay for the application. At the strong urging of friends, we launched an indiegogo campaign, and raised $2,000 toward the cost of my visa. This allowed us to file in April 2014 - and because of the love and support of our friends, we filed probably 8 months earlier than we would have had it just been us saving the money. We cannot begin to thank you enough for believing in us and wanting to help us be together. That is such a humbling thing. 2014 was also the year I worked at Bank of America. That was an amazing experience, and honestly, a far better one than I expected it to be. I went to an open house in Nov 2013 just for the heck of it because I wasn't getting any interviews in my field, and ended up getting hired. I honestly thought I would hate it - but it turned out, I was actually pretty good at it! I loved the team I was working with (one of the best bosses I've ever had in my life), and I miss them very much. I don't miss some of the stuff the Bank was doing and the direction they are taking things, but I really miss my team and my customers. I honestly had some of the best customers ever, who have become very good friends. I got to live on a working farm. I loved my tiny little room (about the size of my cabin on the ship, but nice to not have to share!), and my housemate/landlord is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. It was amazing - Steve showed me baby turtles that were born in a dirt pile and trying to make their way to the pond. Watching the seasons change and the beauty of the landscape was amazing. I will always treasure my time in this beautiful place. I also want to give a special shout-out to the Fried Family. They took me in when I came home from ships and had nowhere to go. I've been friends with them for several years, but I feel now like they made me part of their family. It meant the world to spend Christmas morning 2013 opening presents with them, I was honored to house-sit for them a couple of time while they went on vacation, and having puppy and cat time was priceless. One of the more challenging aspects to 2014 was downsizing my life to move to the other side of the world. I gave away so much stuff, and scanned all my pictures onto a hard drive so I could get rid of the physical copies. That was challenging - during the scanning, I had to face a lot of things that I had literally shoved in a box. I processed a lot about my ex-husband and other relationships, dealt with a lot of family stuff, and found some hidden treasures that I didn't realize I had, and saw the faces of beloved friends and family who are no longer here. I had the blessing and honor of being part of my dear friend Billbob's wedding to Mando. Being Billbob, it was a truly unique day, and one I will never forget. I cannot express how honored I feel at being asked to be part of such a special day. It was perfect. I made some great new friends, and said goodbye to others. I spent as much time as I could with people who mean so much to me and I don't know when (or in some cases if) I'll get to see them again. Of course the top of that list is my mom. On my way to Australia, I spent a month in Santa Fe with my mother. Mom and I are famous for our roadtrips, so we had to get one more in. We drove to Roswell, New Mexico, the site of the alien ship crash landing in 1958. We had an absolute ball.

We also went to see the world-famous balloon festival. When we got close to Albuquerque and saw the insane traffic, we decided to forgo the actual festival and found a Denny's to have breakfast and watched the balloons from on the hill.

I also got to go back to the Mystery Lounge, Boston's longest-running magic show. I was beyond thrilled and still can't believe that my friend David Oliver made the trip down to see me before I left. Just over a year before, David was the recipient of a double-lung transplant, so the possibility of seeing him in Australia is not so high (but with David, you just never know!). I hadn't seen him since 2010, and really wanted to see him before I left. We had a wonderful visit, and every day I am grateful that this amazing man is still with us. Not only a wonderful magician, but teacher and mentor to young magicians, and a tireless advocate of becoming an organ donor. Love you, David! A lot of folks have been asking about adjusting to life Down Under. In a lot of ways, it was more odd when I moved to Indiana! Sure the folks talk funny here *grin* and drive on the wrong side of the road, but American culture is so prevalent that it is the same in a lot of ways. Oddly, one of the strangest things is having stores that are the same - but not. For example - Target and KMart are a big presence here. But they don't carry the same things as they do in the States. Coles and Woolworth' are grocery stores. And there are sushi places on practically every street corner - they sell sushi rolls for about $2.60-$3.20, and amusingly don't cut them into bite-size pieces - they leave them as a roll. And they're really good.... :) Of course it is being an adjustment being married and living with Paul for the first time. Rather than a futon or twin-size bed, we have our very own full-size bed. We've been having a ball decorating our home together, and figuring out our style. Paul is ecstatic that he can actually display his KISS memorabilia (his first wife had issues with that), and we're both taking a lot of joy in collecting and displaying items and pictures that show our joint memories we make together. I won't say it is all easy - it's a challenge finding balance with spending quality time together, getting the day-to-day things done, and giving each other space. It is especially challenging for me right now because I'm not working, don't really know a lot of people yet, and spend a lot of time at home (when we're trying to save money, it's best not to go out because you spend it when you do!). Which isn't to say that I don't get out - I have found a UU church that I like (amusingly, the pastor is an American!), and go to the occasional Meetup. And the best part is where we live - just over a minutes walk to the beach! Henley Beach South is the "locals" beach - a perfect place to hang out, walk along the shore, and just enjoy the beauty of this country, without a lot of crowds and drunk people. Glenelg is the "tourist" beach, about 20 min away, and we leave all that to them. :) Thank you again to everyone who keeps us in your prayers and has helped us be together for our first Anniversary and holiday season as a married couple. May you have peace, health, joy, and mad prosperity in this new year 2015. Love, Kat and Paul Milner

We're not in Kansas anymore...

After so much - months of separation, loads of tears and frustration, an exceptionally humbling amount of love and support from friends near and far, Paul and I have finally realized our dream of being together. The morning of Thursday, 6 November 2014, I finally arrived safe and sound in Adelaide and into the arms of my beloved husband. Surprisingly to me, I've actually almost not had any jet lag since I arrived. Paul took off work the day that I arrived and Friday, and on Saturday while he went to work I spent the day unpacking and nesting into my new home. I cannot begin to tell you how incredible it is to finally be able to unpack. I've been pretty much living out of suitcases and keeping things packed away for over 3 years, so this is amazing. I've also been really enjoying having Paul show me around my new city - but it is weird to not know a soul besides Paul here, in the place where I now live. The last time I had this happen was about 26 years ago when I first arrived in New England. It is also hard to comprehend that it is the Christmas season. All the decorations are up, the commercials are on TV, and the stores are going mad with holiday-themed displays. But when you're wandering around in shorts and a t-shirt and its 99 degrees farenheit, it is just plain weird and incomprehensible that it is the Holiday season (unless you're from Florida or some other continuously warm place, but I'm from frigid New England). I think one of the oddest things about being here is how similar it actually is to America. There are a ton of American companies with a presence here, including Target and Kmart - which are the same, but not. For example, Target here doesn't carry things like storage cupboards or shelves that you assemble yourself. The trees are weird - the pine trees look really weird.

They put their takeaway Chinese food soy sauce in little containers that look like fish (which I think is kinda cool, actually).

They have signs in the pavement saying things like "Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a bin to put your trash in? Oh wait - there's one right here!"

Apparently the coffee shop I'm in has no set closing time - they said they usually wrap up around 7:30pm, but if it is busy, they'll stay here until midnight. Never see that in America! But of course the best part, is seeing my husband - and the smile I get every time he looks at me (and yes, that is his new lunchbox, and he is over the moon with it).

But I'd be lying if I didn't say one of the absolute best parts is living less than a 90 second walk from the beach....We live on the "locals" beach, the one that is popular, but the tourists don't really know about - and it is amazing.

But above all, just being with my husband is the best. I've had a job interview (in my preferred field), and am waiting to hear if I've made it to the next level - fingers crossed! One day at a time, adjusting to a new culture and rejoicing in my life. Welcome to OZ!

Fun With Mom

Before I head to Australia to finally be with my husband, he is being generous and allowing me to spend a month with my mom. I came out to New Mexico a week early so that we could see the balloon festival, but bad weather made it not as great as we would have liked. When we realized we would have to spend upward of 2+ hours sitting in traffic to get to the 7am liftoff (and likely miss it sitting in said traffic), we decided to go to Denny's for breakfast. It turned out the Denny's was on a hill, and we sat in the parking lot and watched the balloons for over an hour.

There weren't that many, so we finally gave up and decided to see what random things my "Roadside America" app on my GPS had for us. Among the strange and unusual things to be found in and around Albuquerque, we saw a car mounted on an archway,

a house built to look like a bug,

a dragon in a playground,

a giant red arrow,

a "green" dinosaur,

a giant pink ribbon (appropriate for Breast Cancer Awareness Month),

a really cool painted house,

the "Madonna of the Plains" in honor of all the Pioneer mothers (thought of you, Sharon Gourlay),

satellite coffee,

Frontier Restaurant, the ONLY place for tortillas in Albuquerque (that one's for you, Jen Mahon),

and last but most definitely not least, our favorite sight of the day - a giant rattlesnake in the median:

After a busy day of running around, we had some lovely soup for a late lunch and back home for a nap! Loving this time with mom. <3

We're on our way!!!

The day we have been praying for is finally here - we got word from the Australian embassy that my visa has been approved! We made the decision back in July for me to come over on a tourist visa, with hopes that it would be approved within the year that the visa covers (when we inquired about how to go about the tourist visa, we were told that our timeframe was pushed back, so we weren't expecting approval until between April and July 2015). What this means is that when I arrive in Australia on November 6, 2014, I won't have to leave the country every 3 months to renew my visa as I will be a provisional permanent resident (ie, they'll review my case in 2 years and make me permanent). I will also be able to look for work as soon as I get there. Thank you to everyone who has helped us - financially, with prayers, and everyone who has been rooting for us and sending love and good thoughts. More to follow soon, but wanted you all to know. <3

Decisions made

Limbo is an exceptionally difficult thing - probably one of the most challenging mental states in which a person can find themself. I have been essentially living in limbo for over 7 years. As I approached my graduation from UMass-Amherst in May 2007, I didn't have work lined up, and didn't know where my career would take me. Since then, I have owned 2 businesses, and worked for a number of different companies - national tours, cruise ship, and traveled both all over the U.S.A. and around the world. It has been amazing, but still, difficult because it is limbo and I haven't had a real home since 2010. The other day, the not knowing when my visa would be approved and I could join my husband, especially not knowing if we would be together for our first anniversary, was really getting to me. My friend, Mindi, said, "Why don't you just ask them what would happen if you went to visit - since they said you can visit - and your visa was approved while you were there?" It planted a seed, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. They said 5-12 months for the approval window - so what if I already had my airfare purchased to fly out around the 6 month mark? Could I stay for 3 months and have it be approved and just go visit another country and be good to go? I called Paul and asked him what he thought. His first knee-jerk reaction was "We can't afford it, especially if you're not approved when you get here." Then he started thinking about it, and we decided that worst case scenario, I would be a stay-home writer for 6 months and he'd have to support me (as my sponsor, it's his job! *grin*). We decided that it would be worth it to just go ahead and plan for me to arrive before our first anniversary - so we can have that, Christmas, and New Year's together as it should be. So I am working out the details, but it looks like I will be flying out to my mom around October 7 so we can go to the big hot air balloon festival that week in Albuquerque. Then on November 4, I will likely be flying to Australia to join my husband. The end of September will be the 5-month mark for having filed my visa, so there is actually a fair chance it may be approved before I leave the country in November. So the end is in sight - the light is bright at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to all for your love, support and prayers - and here's hoping the visa comes in before I leave!

Immigration Update

Yes, I know I've been bad and not written for a while. I think of you often, and keep wanting to share what's going on, but the truth is that we're still in limbo right now. Paul is in Australia working away like a busy little bee trying to get our life together. He's got a teeny little flat about 100m from Henley Beach, and works practically every day to save money and pay off debt he discovered his ex-wife ran up into the thousands in his name before she left the country. I'm working 2 jobs trying to pay down my own debt and save money. We are missing each other terribly, and treasure those few moments we get to see each other on Skype 2-3 times a week (the 13.5 hour time difference makes it challenging sometimes). We received a "here is your final checklist" email about a month ago from Immigration, so we're hoping we will hear something soon. When we do, you'll be the first to know! :)

Visa Update and other stuff

Wow - I can't believe it has been a month since I posted. How time flies! It has now been exactly 6 months since Paul left for Australia (6 months and 10 days since we wed) - in some ways I can't believe it has been 6 months already, and in other ways it seems so much longer. We filed for my visa 4 weeks ago, and were hoping to hear soon that I have been approved and can go home. In the meantime, I've been busy working, and going through everything and trying to get rid of everything I don't actually need or HAVE to have. Along with scanning all of my DVD's, CD's, and photos into digital form so I can get rid of the physical copies. It is a huge, overwhelming, intimidating, emotional process, and there are days that it is a struggle. I've also started working part time on the weekends pouring wine for wine tastings at a local winery. It's a lot of fun, amazing wine, and I really enjoy chatting with the customers. Paul has been busy working a ton, and finding us an apartment - the one he has found is in the Henley Beach area of Adelaide, about 1 1/2 min walk from the beach! Needless to say, we are wicked excited about that. He's also managed to obtain a loveseat, area rug, bed, microwave, kettle, coffee pot, and refrigerator, so we're pretty much all set with the necessities. On Monday, Paul called the immigration department to check in to see if we could get an idea of processing time for my visa (the last time I checked the website, it was 3 years out of date). When he called a couple months ago to make sure we had all the right forms, he was told it "could be as soon as 4 weeks" - so we've been really hoping it could be any day. What we found out is that the 4 week processing is for people from "high-risk" countries, places where their lives are in danger and they are seeking political asylum. Because I am from a "friendly" country, it puts me to the bottom of the priority list, regardless of the fact that I am married to an Australian citizen (like the U.S.A., they've had a slew of "green-card" sham marriages, and it has ruined it for folks like us who have a genuine relationship). So it is looking like my visa should be approved sometime between September 2014 and April 2015. That's right - we are back to hoping we are able to celebrate our first anniversary together in November. We've been getting a lot of folks asking "why don't you just go over there and wait there?" There's a few reasons why that isn't feasible: 1) I wouldn't be able to work, 2) I would be on a tourist visa and would have to leave for 2 weeks+ every three months, 3) it could be considered "entering the country under false pretenses" and they could deport me and ban me from entering the country for up to 5 years, 4) I don't have enough vacation time accrued at work to go over for more than a few days, 5) I really don't have an extra $2800 for airfare We've also been having a lot of well-meaning folks saying things like "it will go faster than you think" and "it could be worse" - all of which is true. And we appreciate your love and support. But we're also going to ask you to do one more thing for us - pray. Regardless of what your faith path may be, we ask you to join us in asking God/Goddess/Universe/The Great Is - however you choose to call your Divine - to bless us with the gift of being together. Since Feb 22, 2013, Paul and I have spent exactly 6 1/2 weeks together, with no idea of when we will see each other again. All we want is to be together, to be the newlyweds that we are, and to share our life. If you are blessed to be with a partner you love, think about what it is to sleep next to them, to wake together and be able to spend time together sharing meals, talking, and being able to touch each other - to hold hands, embrace, and kiss. If you've every been separated from the one you love - whether for a short time (like a business trip) or a long time (like a military deployment), remember what it was to be apart - how it felt like a huge part of you was missing, and then what it was to feel whole again with them next to you. Think about when you were a newlywed and how much joy you had making your first place a home. Right now, I cannot tell you how much it hurts to be in a store and see something I'd love to get for our apartment that I can't, because it would be too expensive to ship. If you have yet to find your mate, joining with us will put good karma points in your cosmic account! :D And we ask that not only do you say a prayer/light a candle/send energy to/for us, but that you help this go viral. Please tell/ask everyone you know - share the heck out of it on Facebook - and ask them to pray for us that my visa will be approved soon. Please take it to your church groups and faith families and ask to have it included in your prayer circles. All help is appreciated. We;re asking that for the next week at least that you pray for us. That you ask everyone you know to pray for us. There are several folks who have contacted me saying that they wished they had had the means to help when the indiegogo campaign was happening, but couldn't help at that time - well, this is a great way to help us out without costing a penny! Please ask everyone you know to hold us in their hearts and prayers that we will be able to be together soon. All we want is to put love in the world. Thank you for being there for us, and we can't wait to tell you that we're on our way!