30 days and counting...

So we're now 30 days out from the end of the campaign, and only 1/5 of the way to the goal ($1,067 to $6,000) We know this is a tough time for a lot of people, and that in many ways ours is not the greatest need. We started this campaign at the urging of our friends, who saw how amazingly in love we are, and enjoyed sharing in that love when they were able to join us at our wedding and reception. So we ask you, our friends, those who love us, and want to see us be together. Who know how hard it was for us to endure the 8 months apart when I was working on the cruise ship, and how hard these past couple months have been with Paul in Australia and myself in the U.S., with no idea when we will be able to see and hold each other again. Who may not know that we've also being going through some health issues and scares, made that much more terrifying for not being able to be together and look after each other. We ask you to find it within yourself to support our cause of love. We know that a lot of folks can't afford much, but even $5 or $10 will help us get that much closer - and if enough people put in a small amount, we'll reach our goal in no time. We are working toward this goal too, not asking everyone else to foot the bill for us. We work every day toward raising the money for my immigration expenses, as well as toward the first/last/security for our home together and the furnishings to make it a home. We thank you for your love and support, and really hope you will find a way to contribute, and will share the link to allow others the joy of helping a fair tale come true. <3

Holding Fast to Faith

The past week or so has been fairly trying for Paul and I, but we are keeping the faith. First, however, the report - the Indiegogo campaign (http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together/x/5958552) is at $978! THANK YOU to everyone who has contributed so far, we really appreciate your support. However, we only have 36 days left, and a LONG way to go to reach our goal of $6000. But first, some fairy tale joy.....

The more I look around me, and the more I look at what I have with Paul, the more I realize how truly blessed we are. We met when I went into Stop and Shop, and it was like magic. When we met for our first date, we hugged, and it felt like the Universe aligned. Our first kiss was the sweetest I have ever known. When I said I had to leave for 6 months for work, I never doubted that he would wait for me. When I had to tell him I would be gone for 2 more months, my heart broke when he cried from missing me so much. When he asked me to marry him, I thought I might be the luckiest girl in the world. When I did marry him, I KNEW I was the luckiest girl in the world. Over the past few weeks, as we've talked to folks about our goal of being together in Australia and everything we are overcoming to be together, people keep saying "Just go there and be with him. I don't understand why you can't just be there." The situation is this - we spoke with the Australian Embassy in Sydney this past week, just to make sure we haven't left any stone unturned. We asked if I could "just go be with him" in Australia, and file for residency while there. We were told that "You *could* do that, but at any time the government could decide that you entered under false pretenses (ie, entering on a tourist visa with the intent to stay permanently), deport Kat back to the U.S., and ban her for up to 8 year from re-entering Australia. Then you would have to file (and pay) all over again." It just isn't worth the risk. We've also been asked why I don't go visit - the truth is, it is too expensive to "just visit." Airfare alone is in the neighborhood of $2000, so it would defeat our purposes for me to visit, when the goal is for me to stay. We've also been asked why we are moving to Australia. There are a lot of factors that have gone into this decision, and it was not an easy decision to make. First, is that Paul is unable to find work in his field in this country (he is one of the top swim instructors in Australia). He doesn't have a high school diploma, and most jobs above minimum wage in the U.S. won't even talk to him. The few places who could hire him (such as the YMCA or health clubs with swim classes), have flat out refused to speak with him because they feel he is over-qualified and would want too much money - without giving him the consideration of interviewing him and letting him decide if what they offer is what he would accept. He was living in an extremely toxic situation (renting a room from his ex-mother-in-law) and we couldn't afford to rent a place of our own, as my work situation has been erratic at best. Add to that an unstable relationship with his ex-wife who threatens every other week to have him arrested (she's done it before when she didn't get her way), we came to the decision that since I don't have anything really tying me down in the States and he not only has a greater earning capacity in Australia but would be much happier there and I can find work pretty much anywhere, we made the difficult decision to emigrate to Australia. Paul has gone ahead to try to get settled and find a place for us to live while I try to pay down some of my debt and get my visa organized. We've also been asked why it is so expensive - here is the breakdown: $3100 to file for the visa. $900 for the medical exam and background checks. $2000 for the airfare and baggage check (2 checked bags and 2 carryon). We are living extremely frugally, and saving every extra penny we can. In addition to saving for this $6000 (which is what the indiegogo campaign is about - http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together/x/5958552), we are also saving $2500 for the first/last/security for an apartment in Australia, a car so Paul can work the 3 jobs he's managed to land, and continuing to pay his attorney fees from when he divorced and fought for (and sadly lost) custody of his son, and his ongoing child support. There are also some health issues going on, but I won't go into that until I know more about what, if anything, is going on - we're waiting on some test results.

We have said all along that from the moment we met, it has been like a fairy tale, and all we want is to live together so we can be happy ever after. Everyone says it is amazing how the love just shines out of us when we look at each other, and is so incredibly present in the pictures. At the wedding and reception, it was amazing to watch a room full of people fall in love with my husband. If you are blessed to have your soul mate and other half in your life - if you believe in love - if you want to be part of creating a "happy ever after", I hope you will find a way to help us. If you can, please contribute to the campaign (http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together/x/5958552). We hope you will tell everyone you know our special story, and of our amazing love that we are blessed to share with each other and our friends. We hope you will share our video that tells the story with folks, to let them know what is going on (http://youtu.be/80KtlCm5E4k). The campaign is set up so you can donate via credit card or PayPal, and PayPal is set up to accept donations in US Dollars, Australian Dollars, and Euros. We hope you believe in love, and we hope you will join us. We have 36 more days to reach our goal - and the Embassy also said that if we can file by March 1st, they might actually be able to process it within 90 days rather than the 10 months we were told initially, which means we might actually be able to be together for our first anniversary. Wouldn't that be amazing?!? With your help, we know we can do it. Thank you. <3

Inching Forward

Wow!!! Some amazing activity and very generous people!! THANK YOU to all who have donated the past few days!! We are now $778 toward our $6000 goal! Please know - there is only 42 days left to raise the remaining $5,222. If we can reach $5,500 (that is only another $4,722), we have an angel donor that will get us the last $500. Thank you for believing in love, and supporting Paul Milner and I being together. We can't do it without YOU. We know it is challenging right now for a lot of folks, so maybe you think that a little bit won't make a difference - trust me, it can make a BIG difference. We've had donations as small as $1, and we are grateful for them all. Please help support us - financially if you can, and also by helping to spread the story and the love. Everyone loves a good love story, and you may be surprised who wants to have a hand in a happy ending - so PLEASE SHARE!! Thank you!! <3 <3 <3

Timing Wow!!

We have some great news!!! If you've been on the fence about contributing to the indiegogo campaign (http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together), now may be the perfect time for you to join us!! Paul spoke with the Consulate in Australia today, and they said that if we can file by March 1 (the same time our funding campaign ends), my visa could process as quickly as 3-6 months - instead of the 8-12 months we were told previously. This means we have to have the $6000 together when we file, because if it happens sooner rather than later, I have to be ready to leave the country within 90 days or we have to start - and pay for - the process all over again. If you are blessed to spend every night and wake up next to your beloved every morning, can pick up the phone and text/call them anytime you want, believe in love and that it will find you, or just want to see more love in the world, we hope you will join and support us. Believe me - everything helps. Thanks!! Kat & Paul :)

Campaign is Launched!!

First of all, Happy 2014!!! I hope this finds everyone well and having had a lovely holiday season. Welcome also to all the new people following the blog (if you missed the one 2 postings ago with the wedding pictures, please go here: http://techchick-takingaleap.blogspot.com/ and scroll down to "The Story of Us". It's a bit of a long read, but (I think) worth it - there's also tons of pictures in that post. For those who are waiting for it, I have been in touch with the photographer - she said she has about 50 pictures left to edit, so I should have the lot sometime in the next 2 weeks!!! And now - drumroll - so many people have been asking about it, we are finally able to say that our indiegogo campaign has been launched!! We now have 60 days to raise $6000 so I can travel to Australia to live with my husband. If you are unclear as to why we are doing this, here's the Reader's Digest version...Paul came to the U.S. when his (now ex) wife wanted to move herehttp://www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together/x/5958552 in 2010 to be closer to her parents. They since separated and divorced, and a custody battle over their son ensued. She was granted full custody of Z, we think mainly because they were afraid Paul would take Z back to Australia and she'd never see him again (which sadly, is what Z actually wants). Between Paul not being able to get anything but minimum-wage jobs and his ex-wife fairly regularly bouncing between threatening to call the police and have him arrested for some trumped-up charge (yes, it has happened before) and then calling him sweetly trying to convince him to come back to her (she's apparently not happy in her current relationship), we made the decision to move our lives back to Paul's hometown of Adelaide, South Australia. The other reason is that the only place Paul could afford to live was renting a room from his ex-mother-in-law, and the situation was becoming increasingly toxic. I don't have anything to really tie me to the U.S. (yes, I love you my dear friends!), so it seemed like a good option - she can't legally enter Australia (apparently she has some legal issues she incurred before she left) and we would be left alone by Paul's ex-wife, and Paul has a job he loves that wants him back where he is not only professionally successful and paid well, but is really passionate and loving of the work itself (teaching swimming). In fact, Paul is one of the most highly sought-after swim instructors in the country. We've been getting a lot of questions about why I can't just go stay with him there while we get a visa, or even why I don't just automatically get a visa for being married to him. The truth is that Australia is a lot like the U.S. that way - even for married people from a "friendly" country, the hoops and red tape and cost are maddening. According to the Australian government, if I were to go to be with him under a tourist visa, they could consider that "entering the country under false pretenses" and have me deported and banned from re-entry for up to 5 years. The only way I can legally enter the country and stay is on a "partner" visa, which costs over $3,000 just to file. According to the Australian embassy, it should be at least 8-9 months before the approve my visa, and then I will have only 90 days to get myself there and appear before their government in Sydney. Before I leave, I will have to have a full medical exam, as well as FBI and background checks - all of which will cost another $1,000+. The flight to Australia will be approximately $2,000 - bringing us to the total that we are trying to raise of $6,000. We know it sounds like a lot of money (and it is), but it is our hope that if everyone who has been so supportive and loving of us through our journey of being separated for almost a year while I worked on the cruise ship, and would like to see us be together after having to have Paul leave when we were only married 10 days, will help us. We've had so many folks who wanted to be part of the wedding and couldn't - we hope you will step up and help us now. Think about it - if only 100 people donate $60 (or 200 at $30), that is everything we need. Please help us be together for our first anniversary on November 16, 2014 - we know it is a stretch, but we have faith that our loving community will help us get there. You can help by doing the following: 1) go to http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together/x/5958552 and make a donation. 2) Please send other people to the campaign and encourage them to make a donation. 3) Watch the video at http://youtu.be/80KtlCm5E4k and please share the video with everyone you know. Thanks a million in advance, and may you know love and joy throughout 2014. Love, Kat & Paul

Christmastime blues

Please hold my husband, Paul Milner, in your hearts and prayers this holiday season. Not only is he down because we are apart, but especially because his ex-wife has blocked all contact with his son. Yes, that is what I said - Paul is not allowed to have any form of contact whatsoever with his son. He cannot call him, she made Z block anyone she didn't know on his x-box in case one was his dad, and if Paul sends anything to him (letter, Christmas present, etc), she tosses it in the trash. Z is not looking forward to Christmas because he has no belief he will talk to his dad in the next 4-6 years, he has no faith his mom is getting him anything he actually wants for Christmas, and apparently he is spending Christmas Day with his mom's girlfriend's family - who does not get along with his mom at all, which will make for loads of fun all around. So Paul could please use some love sent his way - I know he hasn't abandoned us and is doing all he can for Z and I to have a better life with him, but right now he's not so sure...

The Story of Us

A lot of folks have asked about how we met, and many more want to know about the wedding since they couldn't be there - so here it is.... I apologize in advance for the likely length of this post, but I hope you enjoy it! :) It was a Sunday afternoon in mid-September, 2012. I had just gotten back from working the Castleton (opera) Festival and a massive cross-country drive. I thought I was leaving in 2 weeks to join the national tour of "A Chorus Line", and had bought a bright pink suitcase for the tour. I stopped off at the local grocery to pick up a few things, including some salmon, to make dinner for my bestie and myself. I was having an amazing day - the weather was beautiful, interesting work to look forward to, and a lovely day with my friend. I got into the fish department, and was immediately greeted by the fellow working the counter. I thought he was cute with his big brown eyes and beautiful smile, then he spoke - and I heard that Aussie accent. We ended up talking for over 20 minutes, and I gave him the tour of the pins I had tacked on my hat from my travels that summer, told him about the woman who gave me "jazz hands" when I borrowed her husband to help me get the suitcase down and told her I was going on tour, and about this blog in hopes that he might want my contact information. Now keep in mind, I had given up on ever meeting anyone - that's why I had decided to tour for the next indefinite period of time. It had been ages since I'd really been flirted with, and cute guys definitely never hit on me. But it didn't mean I didn't see him, and well, a girl can dream.... So he said he'd love to follow the blog, and I gave him my card. By the third day after not hearing anything, I began to think I really had imagined that he was flirting with me. I'm not sure what possessed me, but I decided to go see - and invite him to hear a friend's band play the following Saturday. I went in on Wednesday evening, and he wasn't there. I decided to give up, then figured "What the heck?" and went in on Thursday. He was working, and immediately apologized and said he'd lost my card and could he please please please have another one? I gave it to him, and before I got to my car, he'd texted to say my number was installed in his phone. He had his son that weekend and couldn't go to the show, but we did end up skyping - for about 3 1/2 hours. We decided to set a coffee date at Starbuck's for Monday morning at 11. By the end of the conversation, we moved it up to 9am because we were excited. We both arrived for our first date a little early. We got out of our cars to greet each other, and immediately went in for a hug. He actually kissed me, and it felt completely natural. We went in to get coffee, and there was a fellow sitting and waiting for his friend. He said hello and "how are you", and I replied, "It's a beautiful day, we're having good coffee, and I've got a cute guy - life is good!" We started the first of many "bubbles" - we find that when we focus on each other, we have no consciousness of anyone around us. As the fellow who said hello was leaving, he came by and said "I hope someday I find someone and can be as happy as you two." Needless to say, he nearly fell over when we told him it was our first date! Then there was the woman who kept staring and grinning at us - and neither of us knew who she was. Finally we gave up and went back to where I was staying and sat and talked for ages - our first date lasted for 7 1/2 hours. I've never enjoyed just being with someone so much.

We'd been together just over 5 1/2 months when I left to work for Princess Cruises. It was supposed to be a 6-month contract, and ended up being just under 8 months. All I can say is: thank goodness for Skype. I was coming off 6 months of unemployment, so I refused to pay for shipboard internet - this meant we could talk on the phone occasionally, and skype once in a while if I could find a decent enough connection while in port. It was hard, to say the least. Given Paul's nightmare situation (see most recent post previous to this one for that background), it was really rough on him. I was lucky - I was out doing cool things and seeing the world - he was stuck, but we did have each other. We knew that when I got home (we thought in August) that we'd want to get engaged. Then in April, we decided we just wanted to be married. So we got engaged. We realized that November 16th was a Saturday, it was a weekend Paul was scheduled to have his son with him, and it was exactly 14 months to the day from when we met - so a wedding we planned! He drove me nuts with details, but I have to say, it was beautiful having a man so excited to get married.

What seemed to take forever was suddenly over, and I was back in his arms. We spent my first two nights home in a motel, just relishing being together. The first morning, we went out to breakfast at Denny's (I'd been craving it for months) and back to "our" Starbucks for coffee. While we were there, at the same table where we had our first date, Paul got down on one knee and proposed. I had no idea he had planned that, and was totally taken off guard. I jumped up and hugged him, then yelled to the place "I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!" Everyone applauded, and a couple women asked to see the ring.

While I was on board the ship, I started looking into dresses. I found one I liked on a website, and ordered it. It was a cool little medieval-looking thing, and was supposed to be in silver.

Through a communication issue, the payment didn't go through immediately, and I wasn't able to get it because they couldn't guarantee I would have it in time. Yes, it's my fault for not checking to see if PayPal needed another step, but you would think that if they hadn't gotten payment confirmation within 24 hours, knowing it was for a wedding dress, that they would have checked in with me and not waited a week?? Anyway, I started shopping. I found a few things, but nothing that really made my heart sing.

And then I found this:

It wasn't traditional, but I sure did love it (and figured it would be perfect for when we have the ceremony on the beach in Australia for all of his folks), and I bought it (the price was amazing). I didn't want to risk bad luck by having the groom see the dress before the wedding, but I had to get his okay on it since it was so radically non-traditional. He took one look at the picture of me in it and said, "You obviously love it, so I love it. Go for it - it's our day, who cares what anyone else says?" And that was that. Then I was in Savers looking for bridesmaid dresses, and found this dress for $59.99. I figured I should try it on - because it is strapless, I needed help, so I asked a woman near the dressing room to help me. She zipped me up and gasped, "Wow! It looks like it was made for you! You HAVE to buy it!" And I agreed - it did look like it was made for me.

While I was waiting to check out, holding the armful of dress, the same woman came by and chatted with me as I waited. As I was checking out, she gave me a 30% off coupon - I got the dress for $42!!!! With all the beadwork and detachable train, it had to have originally been at least $1000. I couldn't believe it!! I decided to let Paul think we were still non-traditional, and conspired with my friend Allison to keep it from him. We had organized for a friend who is a professional photographer to do the pictures for us, but as things ran over budget and I lost some work, we just couldn't afford it. The person who was supposed to make our cake totally forgot about it, and was now unavailable. Fortunately, I remembered my friend Madison's fiancee is a baker, and she was fortunately willing to make the cake to have as portfolio work, as she is looking to expand her work. I called the Hallmark Institute of Photography to see if there was a student who was looking for portfolio work (hoping against hope), and we found Helena - who just that morning was wondering where she would find a wedding to use for an end-of-semester project! The cake ended up being one of the most amazing, delicious things ever (the ducks we found and thought they were cute - no real story behind them).

And we honestly cannot say enough good things about the photos - Helena is an incredibly talented photographer, and was a delight to work with.

The ceremony itself was fairly non-traditional, but we like to think it reflected our personalities and incorporated our spiritual paths. Our celebrant is a friend of mine, who is in the process of becoming ordained. We were her first wedding, which made it that much more special for all of us. There were a few glitches (like Sulis not understanding my direction about letting the music finish then centering the congregation then cueing the entrance music so that was a bit awkward - and we all forgot the sand for the sand ceremony, but between Sulis and Brenda, it came off great), but overall it was just memorable. Paul's mom and my dad have passed away, and my mom wasn't able to be with us (combination of health, finances, and I don't have a place for her to stay with me at the moment), so I asked Brenda to stand in for my folks and give me away. It meant so much to me to have her stand with me. Jen, my maid of honor, was amazing. She stepped up and helped organize where we had holes in the planning, and performed amazing poetry during the ceremony. I am so deeply grateful to have these two incredible women in my life.

The reception was amazing. I have never felt so incredibly loved and supported as when we were introduced and everyone applauded - and kept going! They wouldn't stop!!! Everyone was so happy for us, and I loved watching my friends fall in love with my husband. It was truly amazing. We had decided to do a potluck reception because we just didn't have the funds to do anything else. We were nervous, because we thought people might thing it was tacky - but the main comment I got was that folks loved it because it let them feel like they were a part of everything. And the food was out of this world! We got to dance a bit ("our" song is "Forever" by KISS) - and our bubble is still in place - every time we danced, we couldn't have told you if there was another person in the room.

It was a perfect day. We spent our wedding night in a bed and breakfast in South Hadley, MA - it was beautiful, and the hostess was delighted we chose to spend it with them.

On our way to the B&B, we realized we were both starving. So we stopped off at a gas station in Holyoke to buy Subway, and loved the reactions we got from the folks who worked there! :)

Our good friends Mindi and Dan Fried were unbelieveably kind and generous, and treated us to a second night at the B&B, and it was the perfect way to start our married life together.

That first day coming back to the "real" world, we stopped off to Savers - and I re-donated my dress. I had thought about consigning it (heaven knows we could have used the money), but decided to pay it forward. I am grateful to whomever donated it in the first place so that I could have something so beautiful for my big day - I hope someone else has the same joy I did. It's been an amazing journey coming to this point. Ten days after we got married, I dropped Paul of at Boston's Logan Airport to head out to Australia to lay the groundwork for our life together there. We are back to Skyping, and it will be at least a year before we hold each other again. And I wouldn't trade him for anything.