Sometimes it is all about letting go...

Change is in the air. Everyone seems to be feeling it in some way. I ran into my PostalPerson today, who actually said "Change is good!" when she told me that due to health problems, she is no longer allowed a regular "carry" route.

I can feel the winds of change stirring about my feet. I know it is coming, I know I will be moving, shifting, embracing something new, and my spidey sense says it will be sooner rather than later.

I have no idea what it will be, but I am excited about the next phase. I realized today that although I love where I am and what I have been doing very much, in many ways I have hit the limit of what I can actually do here. At the Fine Arts Center, I am at the top of the pay scale as a freelancer, and although there is still groom to grow as a Lighting Designer with the 5-College Dance Program, there really isn't a whole lot else for me here as an artist. So I let go, release, and ask for the next step.

They say that you do not grow when you are comfortable - it's true - you really are only willing to change when you are not happy or uncomfortable, for most change is usually more about running away from pain rather than growth itself.

Letting go in and of itself is an interesting proposition. I really want to let go, live minimally, and be able to pick up and go as soon as they say "Yes, come here!" But the actual doing is something else. As much as I really want to clear the physical clutter in my life, it is hard to overcome the ovewhelm to actually do it. Getting ready for the tag sale I had earlier today, I ended up spending a good portion of the day yesterday on the computer, because I was so overwhelmed. I know I will get there, but sometimes I am only capable of baby steps.

A wise friend once said to me "You cannot judge your insides by other people's outsides" - good advice. You don't always know the chaos that others' tidy homes may hide... All I know in this moment, is that I feel good for all the things I released today, happy about the extra $70+ in my pocket, and more energized to have a much larger moving sale next weekend - it may be baby steps, but I think I will be a lot closer to being able to pick up and go when the time comes!