I live here now?!? part 2

Ah, I forgot to include the details of why I titled the last post what I did... oops!

So on Thursday, 5/19/11, after arriving in Carmel and finding out I couldn't get into my apartment until the next day, I drove through town, looking around and for a place for dinner.

As I drove through town, my brain refused to accept that I live here now. Maybe part of it is because I have been on the road since early January, and it isn't quite real that I am now permanently placed again, after expecting to live on the road for at least a year.

The few days that I have been here (at this writing, it is now Tuesday) have been a bit of a roller-coaster of emotions. Happy to have a place to call my own and nest into that, but mourning the fact that everything and one I know are over a thousand miles away. That I can't just call my friends and get together for coffee or a movie if the spirit strikes.

I know I am fine and will thrive here. It really is my kind of community - arts-based with pretty parks and lots of new places that are great for walking. I am very excited about my new job, and everything about this area. Okay, almost everything - the lighting storms and torrential rains are kinda scary...

But I also feel it is important to honor the part of me that is grieving and going through a huge transition right now. It is interesting that when I state that I'm scared, sad, or anything besides excited, many folks feel the need to reassure me that I am okay and that I "should just be excited" - it is fascinating that so many people are uncomfortable with any kind of discomfort. Just because I am scared or sad, doesn't mean I regret where I am, don't think I'm in the right place, or am not excited - I'm just going through a lot of things right now, and that's all as it should be.

So yeah, even though nothing looks familiar and I'm homesick for what I know, the answer is yes, I do live here now...