Married and sleeping alone

I promise - I'll be posting within the next 48 hours about the wedding, and putting some pictures in. But first, I wanted to talk about Paul's relocation to Australia - there has been a lot of questions about it, and I thought I'd try to address them here. Paul is from Adelaide, South Australia (if you put your hands together to make a circle, it is roughly the shape of Australia - Adelaide is where the thumbs come together). He came here 3 years ago because his then-wife wanted to live in the U.S. to be closer to her parents (she is Greek, but her folks came here when she was 3, and she has dual-citizenship with Greece and the USA). Within a few months, she had had an affair, hooked up with another partner, and told Paul the marriage was over. She put him on a plane to Australia (saying she and their son would be joining them and they were going to try to work it out so he would go willingly). Literally the day he left, she moved her new lover in with her and their son, and that was that. Paul returned to this country Oct 2011 to fight for custody of his son. We think it is primarily because the court was afraid he'd take Z back to Australia at the first opportunity that she was awarded full physical custody (and they were likely right). So he sees Z Mon/Wed evenings 4:30-8:30, and every other weekend. This in itself isn't enough to justify his return to Australia. It was never his intention to go back before his son could go with him. However, we are sadly not dealing with a sane, rational, situation here. His ex-wife has a history of making things up to mess with him - when he first got back into the country, he gave his son a cell phone so they could stay in touch. It was written into the custody order that they be able to communicate, and that she allow Z to have the phone to have private conversation with his father. The first time they tried to speak, she answered the phone, then stood over Z to overhear the conversation. Afterwards, she took the phone away and they have never spoken on the phone again. When Paul left for Australia the last time and she moved her lover in, she threw away everything related to Paul - photographs, letters, mementoes of Paul's mother who has passed away, Paul's baby book, gifts Paul had given his son, Paul's KISS collection - everything. She even went into Z's room and found a game his dad had mailed him from Australia for his X-box - she left the package, but took the game out of the machine and threw it away so Z couldn't play it. Then she called the police and told them Paul had hit her and threatened Z and had him arrested (this cost him a really good job at Mercy Hospital that he was supposed to start in 3 days). When it came to trial, she claimed "marital privilege" and dropped the charges - reminding him that she could do this at any time if he did anything she didn't like. As a result, the only work he's been able to find in this country is minimum-wage jobs working overnights at a convenience store and as the fish guy in the grocery store (thank goodness for that part-time job!). When he returned to this country, his ex-wife's mom took him in so she could also have access to Z (Paul's ex-wife banner her from having any contact with Z as well). This worked well for quite some time, with Paul getting a lot of support (and even encouragement to start dating again!). When I came onto the scene, she seemed genuinely happy Paul had found something real with someone who genuinely cared about him, not just his wallet. But for some reason, when I left for the ship, that changed, and it became an incredibly toxic environment. Between child support and increased rent demands from his ex-mother-in-law, Paul was left with maybe $30/week to live on and support his son (his ex-mother-in-law also stopped cooking for them on the days Z was visiting), and also pretty much took away laundry and cooking privileges in the house. It became exceptionally toxic, and a phenomenally depressing place to be - with no real hope felt, as he was in an impossible situation as on his income he couldn't really afford a place of his own (it would have to be a 2-bedroom or the court won't let Z spend the weekends). I help out as I can, but my income on the ship only left me with a small amount at the end of the month as well. After great discussion and deliberation, Paul decided to return to Australia where he doesn't have to constantly look over his shoulder to wonder if today is the day she'll decide she doesn't like something and have him arrested again just to be spiteful. In Australia, he is one of the top swimming instructors, and highly sought-after. His earning capacity is over 7 times what he can make in this country, and he has a support network there. So we made the difficult decision to put him on a plane back to Australia, to put things in place for his son and myself to join him as soon as possible. We've been getting a lot of questions (hence this post) about why I'm not going at this point. There are a few factors involved - because we don't have a home there, it is easier for Paul to couch surf and get things settled and set up without having to worry about having me along at this point. More relevant, though, is the financial situation. It is approximately $1750 for a one-way ticket from the US to Australia, $3500 for a round trip ticket. As far as we know, until my residency paperwork is approved, I would only be able to stay in the country for up to 90 days at a time, and then have to leave the country for at least 48 hours. So on top of the $4000 we have to pay with the visa paperwork, we'd have to come up with my airfare and ongoing airfare to keep me legal while we wait for visa approval. So that's why, 10 days after our fairy tale wedding, we are married but sleeping alone. The good news is Paul has 3 job interviews set up for the day after he gets home. I'm a bit concerned about him going full throttle and not letting himself adjust to being in-country for a few days (I am always so exhausted after a really long flight), but I love that he wants to get me there as quickly as possible. I promise to keep you all posted on how things are going. Thanks, everyone, for all your love and support.