A matter of moments

Today has been a powerful day for me. It started out much like any other, a quick FaceTime with my husband as he was getting ready for bed and I was getting up to start my day, a day of work trying to be of service to others. Then 2 things happened - I had a conversation with particular customer, and I received an email blast. The email was from a friend in the magic community bringing very sad news: someone I used to be good friends with before my divorce from my ex-husband has suffered a massive stroke, the left side of his brain is "dead", he has no speech and no movement. He is expected to live only days more, if not just hours. He's so young - maybe late 50's at the outside. I have always known him to be a vibrant, zestful, larger-than-life beautiful Italian man. His wife is understandably devastated by this, and I am grateful that she has chosen to let their larger community know, so they can say goodbye to this amazing man that it is so hard to believe will be gone all to soon. The conversation with the customer was touching on so many levels. She came into the bank to make a withdrawal, and somehow we got on the topic of the upcoming Valentine's Day. We laughed when we both realized we had a "yeah, so what" response to the topic. As it turns out, she lost her husband very unexpectedly about 5 months ago. He was another healthy, vibrant individual who had an out-of-the-blue heart attack. She was with him when she passed, saying the paramedics brought him back 3 different times before they finally lost the battle. The last time they brought her back, he reached out and took her arm, unable to speak, but letting her know that he didn't want to let go, but he had to. They were a couple who loved fully and passionately, and no amount of time together would be enough. She has been struggling to take care of all the things around the house that he did, learning to manage her finances when he controlled it all, and generally learning to be more independent and self-reliant than she ever thought she'd have to be. The main thing that came out of this for me is to treasure every moment. The truth is, we are all mortal, we will all die at some point. Every year, without knowing it, we pass what will become the anniversary of our death - and for the most part, most days, we manage to not think too terribly much about it. But the reality is that our time here is finite. Our time with the people we care most about is ever more fleeting, and when it is gone, it will never have been enough. My customer would give just about anything to have "one more hour, one more minute" with her beloved husband (they were only married 7 years). My mom feels the same about my dad, who left us January 2000. I know Rachel (my magician friend's wife) sees the years they had together as just a beginning, and is having a hard time seeing the world as a place that doesn't have him in it. Yesterday I went to the Holyoke Mall, Paul's "happy place" in Western MA. Everywhere I turned, I saw favorite places of his or his son's, and it made my heart hurt with missing them both. Don't get me wrong - I am beyond grateful that my missing is him being on the other side of the planet rather than gone completely. That my nostalgia is for times that we shared, and knowing I can talk with him about it the next time we Skype. And oh how grateful I am for Skype and FaceTime! That I have the gift of seeing his face and hearing the voice of my beloved on a nearly daily basis. But if nothing else, it also brought home to me today how precious every moment is. I encourage you, that if your beloved is near you, hold them just a little tighter and little longer tonight, for those who can no longer do so. Take that extra moment to hold their face in view and etch them in your mind and further into your heart. Gaze on them as they sleep and breathe them in when you hug them. Treasure the fact that your loved ones are within arms reach - and reach for them. Hold them, love them, and tell them how much you love them - for all those who cannot. Touch them while you can, for all those who would give anything for one more touch from a beloved. And if you can find it in your heart to help Paul and I have a little less time apart that we might have otherwise, we would really appreciate your help in our campaign to get me to Australia so we can be together, with luck for our first Anniversary. Please visit www.indiegogo.com/projects/keep-love-together - please put some love out into the world, and know that you are part of helping to create a very happy ending - and beginning.