State of Emergency

For all my life I have heard and seen pictures of natural disasters, and places that the President has declared in a "state of emergency" - I never thought I'd be living in one. To be honest, this is a surreal experience. I am fortunate that my house where I am staying has a really good backup generator, and we are pretty much business as usual, including internet. I can shower, do laundry, and get to sleep with a/c and my ceiling fan. Others are not so fortunate - the "Meadows" house is a small 3rd world country at the moment. Their generator is kaput, so the 30 or so people living there are trying to make the best of a very hot situation (its been in the high 90's the past 3 days with high humidity). Since the power still isn't back on, other houses are starting to take them in, including mine. Which means that we are up to about 10 women and one bathroom. The decision was made to rent a generator from NJ for the festival theater - this thing is HUGE! It took until about 4:30am to get it hooked up, but it is working. We discovered this morning that there are issues with some of the dimmers, that they don't dim - they are either all on or all off. Through tracing this issue, we discovered that the boxes that the local power company set up were not set up the way we thought, and that we had been running power off them slightly incorrectly. We got that issue sorted out - then discovered that we still had the dimmer issue. After more time and testing, we realized it is the computer "brain" of the dimmer boxes, and that both of them need to be replaced by next weekend. I also want to take a moment to talk about my boss, Tlaloc Lopez-Watermann. "T" is the Lighting Director for the festival, and by far the hardest working person I have ever met. He does his best to take care of anything anyone asks of him, whether it is the power grid for the festival, fixing the refrigerator truck at the fire house where we eat meals, or cutting trees and moving them off the roads to make them passable after the storm. He is amazing, and an incredible example to those around him of a positive, can-do attitude. I am truly blessed to be working with T and many other incredible, talented, people. So I'm okay, I have food, a/c, and internet. Hopefully soon the phones will be back up so I can call my mother.

Wow, what a night!

We all have those nights to remember. Our first kiss, first dance, Where we were when we first heard that someone important to us died. Last night was definitely one of those nights... It was to be the 2nd performance of the "Barber of Seville". Everything went well, resetting from "Carmen" rehearsals back to "Barber". Then about 10 min before the show, my boss came on the walkie and told us to be prepared that there was a major storm front headed our way, but that it was scheduled to hit about the time the show ended - he was very, very, wrong. It hit about halfway through intermission. First lighting could be seen, then the thunder, then the 70+mph winds. We started getting power surges, and power went out a couple of times, then for good. David, our Technical Director, came in and told us that he literally watched the power go out over the entire county. Maestro Maazel and Nancy, our General Manager, conferred backstage about what to do, fretting about keeping the audience calm. David piped up with, "Hell, you've got a house full of musician, have them play something!" As it turns out, we had 2-3 violin virtuosos in the orchestra, so play they did. Then we got the singers out there, and did everything from arias from other shows to Broadway tunes, to most of the rest of the show! At one point, they offered to let folks leave if they wanted to, but no one left - they were enjoying themselves too much! Behind the scenes, we were trying to figure out ways to keep things safe. I ran out to the dimmer room to turn off the breakers to the lighting rig. When the board operator checked in, I asked if he had unplugged the dmx, and he ran off light the lightning we were afraid could fry the system. We gave everyone flashlights, and wondered how long the emergency lights would last (about an hour, if you were curious - we thought it would be 20 min). Eventually we were able to let folks leave - but it took a while, as trees had been uprooted by the winds and were laying across the road. Crews that included some of our people (my boss is a huge guy, and extremely strong) worked feverishly with chainsaws to clear the way. I finally left around 12:45am - I have no idea when everyone else was able to call it a night. Fortunately, the building I am staying in has a generator, not everyone was so lucky. I chatted with a fellow who was there with his wife. Apparently they had been having marriage issues, and are trying to work it out. This is their first experiene at the Castleton Festival, and they can't wait to come back! In fact, most audience member said that. It was a wonderful crowd, and and incredible night. Oh - and my personal drama for the night. My job during the show is to page the cable that gives power to the set, to make sure no one trips and the set doesn't run over it when it is moved. Last night I looked to make sure that the cart got through okay (last time it was an issue), and I didn't see that the set was already moving and was next to me. My pant leg and the back of my shoe got caught by the set, and dragged under. Fortunately, I was wearing my keens, and was able to pull my foot at least partially out of the shoe - but as it was, I could't release it completely, and was trapped, with my foot pinned against the set, and my shoe cutting off my circulation. It was very scary and painful - fortunately, it wasn't too long until the next transition and I was released. It is still swollen and painful this morning and I'll have it looked at by the local EMT, but I think it will be okay. Wow, what a night - and not one anyone will soon forget!

Working in Paradise

I really, REALLY wish I could post pictures of the place where I am working. Unfortunately, the bandwidth here for internet limits me to pretty much just email, facebook, and updating my blog. Until I can upload, here are some web pics from the past for you: https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1280&bih=681&q=castleton+music+festival+2012&gbv=2&oq=castleton+musi&aq=3S&aqi=g-S4g-mS1&aql=&gs_l=img.1.3.0i24l4j0i5i24.987.3437.0.6854.14.13.0.1.1.0.146.1161.9j4.13.0...0.0.bAP1K98d-Bg So - I arrived the end of May, and several times thought I had gotten lost, because it really does feel like the middle of nowhere. Not much for signs, many of the roads do not have painted lines, and even fewer streetlights. I was so focused on getting here, that it really wasn't until the next day that I had a chance to take in my surroundings - rolling hills, meadows, trees, and animals. Oh, the animals! I live in the "Barn Apartment", and the other end of the building really is a barn! We have the barn cats and the rooster who live here (complete with kittens), along with two pigs, goats (the babies are beyond adorable!), a zebra, and a zonkey. Yes, a zebra and a zonkey (apparently the donkey is a randy boy and got out!). Down the road a bit are horses, cows, llamas, and emus. Yes, emus. I love being able to say - follow the path down past the donkey (oh - there's a ponkey, too!) and llamas, turn right at the emus, and the trail will take you to the pavilion. About a week after I arrived, I caught a cold (still convinced it is my coworker's fault!), and it has been a struggle getting up every day to work. But working with the group that I do, I look forward to it every day. They are delightful, talented people, who are supportive and patient when I ask a question to make sure I understand clearly, or if it is something I am not completely familiar with. This is a HUGE change from the experiences over the past 2 years, and I am eating it up! It would be a dream come true if I could find a permanent position working with people like I have here. And even on the rare times when it is not as pleasant, we go outside and look around and say, "yeah, too bad it is so ugly here", smile, and walk back in to work. What I've been doing - we've been literally building this theatre from the ground up. The "permanent tent" was erected last year, and this year they installed a permanent grid system with 3 front of house electrics, and 7 over the stage (my tech geek friends will appreciate this info). We have 192 circuits, and have had to run the cable for all of it. I helped solder the connection boxes for the dimmer room, and converted the dimmer boxes from 3-phase to 2-phase power. When we fired everything up for the first time, it was beyond exciting and I literally started dancing. The last 3 days have seen us hanging and circuiting the lights. The challenge is that most of the lifts can't ride on the pit cover, so it is slow going with the front of house 1 and 2 pipes, but we should finish up tomorrow. The designer arrives next week, the second set loads in tomorrow, and all is exciting in our world. Oh - and the master carpenter has dubbed his crew the "yay" team, because everything he asks them to do they say "yay!" - and are a delightful group to work with. Yeah, I'm thinking this is going to be an awesome summer... :)

sharing joy and sorrows

When I got back to MA from "Menopause the Musical", I *thought* I would have 3 weeks to rest, relax, and gently catch up with friends and myself - I could not have been more wrong! I haven't stopped! I have had the chance to catch up with folks I haven't seen in forever, designed the lights for a dance concert, and interviewed for 4 jobs and even saw a couple of apartments, "just in case." But most of all, I have celebrated. Two of my dear friends had graduations this spring. The first shout-out goes to Bette, who received her MA in History from UMass-Amherst last weekend. We've known each other almost 9 years, and it has been amazing to watch her hold true to her goals and dreams and overcome several challenges to reach this point. You go, girl!! The second shout-out goes to one of my two best friends, Jen. I had the honor of being invited and able to attend her commencement at she received her Doctor of Veterinary medicine from the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts Univesity in Grafton, MA - the only Veterinary school in New England. Everyone knows that becoming a vet is big - huge. But this is really, REALLY huge. I met Jen just about 10 years ago in a pottery class, and we became immediate best friends - and have been there ever since. We've been through relationship joys and woes together, virtually held each others hand when one was driving across the country and realized what she was doing and freaked out. We've loved, laughed, cried, and been there for each other. I've sat through "class" in her dining room as she "taught" me about organic chemistry (at least I think that's what it was, I never was completely sure!), caused a roomful of people to give me very strange looks as I burst out laughing at random texts she would send me during class (such as, "Cool! Kangaroos have TWO uteruses!"), and even did an emergency hypnosis session on the phone to help her calm down to be able to finish studying for a test that had her freaked. It made me and her friend Clint laugh yesterday when the Dean acknowledged all the "important people our graduates would not have made it through this without" - parents, children, grandparents and siblings - he and I turned to each other and said, "I guess friends don't count!" :) I am happy to be the silent, unsung supporter of someone like Jen. This amazing, sparkling, talented,gifted person with a heart bigger than Texas. The world is a brighter place for her being here, and wherever she chooses to set up her practice will never truly know how blessed they are and how fortunate their animals will be. I am so proud of this sister of my heart. In all the joy of being at Tufts yesterday, I won't say that there wasn't some sadness, too. I couldn't help but think of my friend, Josh, who you may recall my telling you in an previous post died earlier this year. Looking at all these bright, shiny, new Vets, I couldn't help but think about how that should have been him in a year. Several times during the day I found myself overflowing with emotion - both joy in seeing Jen reach this milestone and in being able to be here for it, and sorrow for knowing that Josh's family will not get to participate in this particular ritual. I find it fascinating how uncomfortable our society is with tears. Another of Jen's guests, every time she happened to see me cry, felt the need to tell me I "must" think and feel a particular way about what was going on. I appreciated that she was trying to help, so I didn't say anything - but if I can, please let me take a moment to help you know what to do in that kind of situation. First (as was the case here), if you don't know the person very well, please DO NOT tell them what to think and feel (ie, "You need to be happy! Think about how happy you are! You shouldn't be crying! You're not sad!") - it is their experience, and they have the right to experience it in their own way (not to mention, you're ASSuming that because they are crying they are sad). Think for a moment - they may not want you drawing attention to their tears (I know I didn't). If it makes you uncomfortable and you don't know what to say, don't say anything. I'm sorry if it does make you uncomfortable - but it really isn't your place to tell me to stop feeling what I am feeling. If anything, a simple "Are you okay?" would be much more appropriate and appreciated. Tears are good. They release emotion that if it is kept inside, will cause damage both emotionally and physically. It is okay to cry, to be emotional. I still have great tears of joy when I think about the fact that Jen is now DOCTOR Jen! I am thrilled beyond words about this. And I will probably always have tears of sorrow for the fact that Josh didn't realize this particular dream. One of my favorite moments in church is when they invite people forward to share joys and sorrows. Since I missed church yesterday, thanks for letting me share. :)

Playing Catch-up

So would you think me crazy if I said that the re-do of the Blogger site so that you can't just log on and make a new post makes me think I'm being punished for not writing for so long? :) So a lot of folks have been asking about my experience with "Menopause the Musical" - the long and the short, is that it was FANTASTIC!!! Sure, there were some challenges and a lot of learning curves, but overall, I learned a tremendous amount, got to see some phenomenally beautiful theatres (if you find yourself in Rockford, IL, do yourself a favor and go see the Coronado Theatre - you will thank me!), met some wonderful people, and have some priceless memories. Not the least of which was getting to hang out with my friend, Gary DeMumbrum, from Indiana. I will try and get some pics up from the tour over the next few weeks, but at least wanted to let you know where I am and what is coming up. Next on the agenda is the Castleton Music Festival in Castleton, VA, where I will be the Master Electrician. After that, I will be driving to Louisiana and Texas to visit friends (and the Alamo!), then off to New Mexico to kidnap my mom - is it kidnapping if she knows about it and agrees to go with me? When mom and I hit the road, we're going to Vegas for a few days to take in some shows and see some of my friends, then off to Utah to visit family and go my dad's side of the family reunion - something I haven't done in almost 20 years! After I drop mom off back in New Mexico, I head to North Dakota to see the Crazy Horse memorial, Mount Rushmore, the Corn Palace, and Wall Drug. Then if there is time, down to Indiana to see some friends before I head back to New England. I'm waiting to hear on a possible job offer, so that will determine my time frame for the driving this summer. Needless to say, I'm both excited and tired! :)

impacting the world

I've been putting off writing my blog, because I have been wanting to write about my friend, Josh. Yes, I have cool adventure stories to tell from the "Menopause" road, but tonight I want to honor my friend. Maybe it is the full moon, and the convergence of two major holidays this weekend, Passover and Easter that makes me feel it is finally time to write this story.

Back in February, just before Valentine's Day, I got word that one of my friends that used to work with me at UMass as a student had died. I was distraught, and like so many others, desperate to find out what happened. Among ourselves, we conjectured about how this possibly could have happened. Was it a car accident, a result of the winter weather, perhaps even a hate crime? He was studying to become a vet in Edinburgh, Scotland, and was halfway through his studies - being so far away, we had no idea what could have happened.

What was farthest from anyone's thoughts was that it would be suicide. Of all the thousands of people I have met in my life, Josh is one of the handful that I know that truly embraced life. He loved and laughed totally and completely. When you had his attention, you felt like the most important person in the world.

In all honesty, I think Josh was more important to me than I to him - and that is okay. I make friends with many of the students that come through the FAC and work to help support themselves. Some I become very close to, and some just become dear to me. Josh and I were friends, but I really don't think he ever realized just how dear he became to me. And it wasn't just because of his contagious smile and laugh, or his passion and zeal for his life and complete joy in following his chosen field. Josh loved animals, and anyone who knew him never doubted for a moment that he would make an amazing large animal vet.

Much of the affection I came to feel for Josh was a result of watching the man he was becoming. I saw a leader, someone who took the time to help his coworkers understand the job they were learning to perform, who had infinite patience to teach (although much less patience when informed that he was overstepping boundaries and doing someone else's job! *grin*). I saw him as a "big brother" - I will never forget when I was working a production with Amherst Leisure Services and he brought his "little brother" to see the show, and respectfully asked if he could bring him backstage. I gave them a tour of the show, and invited Josh to take him to see where the front of house lights were hung (a place few people see), and the little brother was delighted. I was so impressed with Josh's generosity with this young man, and his respect for my position as the stagehand on duty.

After Josh left UMass, we kept touch on Facebook, emailing very occasionally. I would check his page now and again, more often than not laughing at his escapades at vet school in Scotland. He was exactly where he wanted to be, doing exactly what he wanted to be doing - all was right in the world. Until it came crashing down. The night I heard Josh died, I was in total disbelief. I sobbed myself to sleep, and slept fitfully. For days anything would send me into tears (and I even had friends call to check on me "because I know how you are" - thanks, Stephen and Lucas!). I was inconsolable, at a loss to understand how someone so incredibly strong and vibrant could really be gone.

Then I finally found out the how - it was suicide. He hung himself. To be honest, this knowledge stuns me even more than the fact that Josh is gone. It actually scares me, knowing how engaged in his passion Josh was. It is terrifying to think that if someone that connected can slip away, what is it that keeps everyone else here? I mean, it is the things that give us joy - like pursuing our life's dreams and passions - that make us want to continue to go forward in this life. It always seems more tenuous a hold for those who either have given up their dreams, refuse to have the courage to follow them, or never found what they were. I know that at times I have struggled with depression in my life, and fought to find things to hold to and keep me going. The thought of someone like Josh letting go - that rocks me to my core.

It makes me wonder if Josh ever really knew the number of people he impacted during his time in this world. To read the tributes on his facebook page are humbling - so many people loved and were touched by this incredible young man. I wonder sometimes what the turnout will be at my funeral. Will there be people who think I made a difference in their lives?

I vowed a long time ago to tell people how I feel about them. This experience has made me even more committed to that. I want the people I love to know that I love them while they are still here to enjoy it.

And to you, Josh - when I see you in my mind, you will always be with me that Sunday afternoon at the Hadley farm, sitting in the dirt in the goat pen, with the triplet goats Harry, Ron, and Hermione playing "king of the mountan" on your back - and the hugest grin on your face...

Entering Menopause

Ever since I accepted the position with "Menopause the Musical", it feels like "insert joke here _____." In a good way. This is so exciting - my first major national tour, something I have been dreaming about since I was 16 - and just today realized it is coming true.

In addition to being a major national tour, it is a really cool show. Everyone I tell that I am going with this particular production gets really excited - even non-theatre people are jealous, because it is is this show!

I won't say I'm not nervous, however - I feel like the new kid starting school in the middle of the school year - joining an existing cast and crew that are already really tight. The one calming factor is that my friend, Gary, who I worked with in Indiana, will be the one training me in my job. I have every belief that if he a) didn't think I could do it, he would have said something and they would not have hired me and b) he knows and loves me - if he says everyone else will too, I believe him. :)

I have been excited about parts of my journey so far this year, but something just feels so incredibly "right" about this - I really can't wait to get on the plane in the morning. The bags are packed except for a couple things I need in the morning, and I'm raring to go! :)