People are funny....

So it's Labor Day Weekend, and I'm having a huge yard sale to get ready for my impending move - wherever that may be.

I had a few folks stop by today, and made about $106 all told - not bad! I need about another $170 to pay for the gas for the trip across the country (probably a little more, but we'll be optimistic).

My first customer today amused the hell out of me. She came by and wanted my large, blue, plastic Ikea bag and 2 VHS tapes - I figured a couple bucks each for the tapes and a $1 for the bag (it was a BIG bag). She pitched a fit, screaming that yard sales are supposed to be cheap, and how dare I ask so much. I offered to come down to $3, and she insisted that I was a horrible person and that she would have nothing to do with the tapes and only wanted the bag (I now wish I had refused to sell it to her)- I told her if she wanted to be that way, fine - no biggie to me, and continued to laugh at her the rest of the time she was here. She went next door to the stack of free stuff in front of the other building, found a piece she liked, and said that's the way it is supposed to be, and that she's a scavenger - to which I responded, "I noticed." The look she gave me was priceless, and I continued to laugh as she drove away.

I had another woman pitch a fit when I said I would start negotiations at $5 for a Pampered Chef product that retails for $20-$25, and had never been out of the box. She asked me to come down to $2, and I said that as it was early, no go. She said she'd be back at the end of the day to get it cheap. Later she came back with friends, and said she was coming back tomorrow at the end of the day to buy it for half - I said "Nah, for you, it will be doubled" and her friends laughed. They also overheard me tell someone about the earlier woman, and asked if it was their "cheap friend" I was talking about - too funny!

I only had one person ask if everything was free.

I tell you - people crack me up! :)

Holding the Vision

This is the hardest part - the waiting.

It is so easy to just say "relax and let it go" when it isn't you in the Hot Seat.

It's funny, I know I shouldn't feel abandoned, but a part of me does - before the interview, everyone was saying how they're pulling for me - and I really, really appreciate that. But now that it is over, a few folks have asked how it went (and I'm referring them here, because it is exhausting to tell the same story over and over and over again), but no-one is really saying that they're still holding me in their thoughts. Interesting...

It actually reminds me a little of when I was going through a breast cancer scare a few years back. The few folks I told about it were like "Wow, I'm sorry to hear that - keep me posted." - but no one wanted to stand with me in that in-between place. They want to know what is going on, and they want to know whether to commiserate or celebrate, but they don't know what to do or what to say when you don't know - and therefore do not talk to you.

I am equal parts excited and terrified to get this job. It seems like the farther away I get, the more I start second-guessing myself, wondering if I should have done some little thing differently during the interview. Hoping they'll call my references, because I know they'll say good things about me.

The idea of a cross-country move is overwhelming, but as I sit in the humidity of the Northeast, I realize yet again how "done" I am with New England weather. It is hot in California and the sun is intense, but I really like it better without the humidity.

I really want to call the girls whose place I looked at and tell them that I will take it - and I want to be living there by October 1...

Vision, hold faith, trust - repeat...

Standing in Faith

All the footwork that can be done has been. I brought my portfolio, I had the interview - I feel like I conducted myself well, and regardless of the outcome, I know I did my best.

That said, CalArt is one amazing place. The position would incorporate much of the work I'm already doing, with the added bonus of having a regular schedule. I have put things in motion at home to be able to move within 2 weeks of my return. I have been househunting while I am here, and have 2 possibilities.

I have done all that I can, now I must wait - and have faith, that if it is meant to happen, it will...

Readying the Next Step

I leave in 4 days for Los Angeles, to interview to be the next Assistant Technical Director for the Department of Dance at CalArts (www.calarts.edu). This is a school that was founded by Walt Disney, with the vision of a place for students to learn in a very individualized environment, with all the arts under one building. The result is a small, dedicated group of people, with a lot of cross-departmental work.

I'm very excited about this opportunity - not only would it let me grow in ways I cannot possibly see now, but it would mean getting out of the snow climate!!

There is so much to consider - do I want my own place, which would be expensive but my own, or do I want to share? If I share, for how long? Do I put my stuff in storage, sell it, or pay to move it? Would it be cheaper to replace things down the road rather than store it?

I'll know a lot more after Monday - I'm doing preliminary house hunting on Sunday, interviewing on Monday, and should know if I got the job on Wednesday or Thursday.

It feels right - I can really see myself out there, working in this environment. They seem excited about me.

Here's hoping... :)

Sometimes it is all about letting go...

Change is in the air. Everyone seems to be feeling it in some way. I ran into my PostalPerson today, who actually said "Change is good!" when she told me that due to health problems, she is no longer allowed a regular "carry" route.

I can feel the winds of change stirring about my feet. I know it is coming, I know I will be moving, shifting, embracing something new, and my spidey sense says it will be sooner rather than later.

I have no idea what it will be, but I am excited about the next phase. I realized today that although I love where I am and what I have been doing very much, in many ways I have hit the limit of what I can actually do here. At the Fine Arts Center, I am at the top of the pay scale as a freelancer, and although there is still groom to grow as a Lighting Designer with the 5-College Dance Program, there really isn't a whole lot else for me here as an artist. So I let go, release, and ask for the next step.

They say that you do not grow when you are comfortable - it's true - you really are only willing to change when you are not happy or uncomfortable, for most change is usually more about running away from pain rather than growth itself.

Letting go in and of itself is an interesting proposition. I really want to let go, live minimally, and be able to pick up and go as soon as they say "Yes, come here!" But the actual doing is something else. As much as I really want to clear the physical clutter in my life, it is hard to overcome the ovewhelm to actually do it. Getting ready for the tag sale I had earlier today, I ended up spending a good portion of the day yesterday on the computer, because I was so overwhelmed. I know I will get there, but sometimes I am only capable of baby steps.

A wise friend once said to me "You cannot judge your insides by other people's outsides" - good advice. You don't always know the chaos that others' tidy homes may hide... All I know in this moment, is that I feel good for all the things I released today, happy about the extra $70+ in my pocket, and more energized to have a much larger moving sale next weekend - it may be baby steps, but I think I will be a lot closer to being able to pick up and go when the time comes!

famine to feast

Tour to Rochester was interesting, and a good example of meeting people in person if you can, before you take a job sight unseen...

The job was somewhat good on paper - okay money, housing provided, diversity of work. However, the reality was a theater that was essentially paid community theater, folks who aren't allowed to do the job they are hired for (their job plus 6 others added as you go along), a micro-managing director who can be abusive and bi-polar, and no resources to really do what you want to accomplish and no future. A good learning position for someone right out of college, but not for an established professional.

The show itself was wonderful "Cooking with the Calamari Sister" - funny, entertaining, and wonderful. I can't wait to see the next installment!


Arriving home finally from 9 weeks on the road was interesting. It took a couple days before anything really felt familiar. The cats are glad I am home, and so am I. The first couple days back were all about nesting - cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, and napping, catching up on much-needed rest.

Then the question of "next step" - where do I go from here? While on the Rochester tour, I spent a couple hours on trade websites, sending out my resume. Some came back and wanted more information, and 3 have interviewed me this week: ART in Boston, Oddfellows Playhouse in Middletown CT, and CalArts in Valencia CA. I also have the option of interviewing with a house in Delaware in mid-October, for a position beginning January 1st.

I had an in-person interview with Oddfellows, and fell in love with the theater. It is a sweet dedicated space, with a lot of potential to grow and learn - I even told them that if I don't work with them as Production Manager, I want to come back as a designer.

The position at CalArt is amazing. When I talked to them today, I realized it is a dream job - production management, technical direction, working with students, getting to explore and grow as an artist/designer, and I'd get to TEACH a course in production management every semester. Oh, joy - oh rapture!!!

Keeping everything I can think of crossed, in hopes this comes through...

...and the tours continue...

I am now in Sugar Loaf, NY, touring as Production Manager for "Cooking with the Calamari Sisters/Mangia Italiano". I went to Rochester, NY, to learn the show, and it has a 4-show run here, about an hour outside NYC.

It is a semi-outdoor venue, very cool design. The walls are screening around the audience, and some kind of plexiglass around the stage - very clever.

The show itself is amazing and funny. It's about 2 Italian sisters who host a cable access cooking show, with dreams of going to the Food Network. However, one sister has the opportunity to tour her own variety show, and is splitting up the act. I don't want to say much more, except that chaos, cannollies, and charm ensue.

It's nice in that this tour is not in bunkhouses, but in a hotel. :) It's almost strange to have a full size bed to myself!

I head back to Rochester after the show on Sunday to load back into the theater and run 2 more shows before one of the performers goes in for surgery. Then I run a short run of "6 Guitars", a one-man show of a fellow who takes on the persona of 6 different famous guitar players. He won several awards at the Orlando Fringe, and it should be a good show.

The big question these days is: what is the next step? I stand in the place of faith, believing that the next right thing will manifest as it is meant to, but it is still a little scary to be facing bills, without knowing where I may have income. I'm putting out a lot of feelers, responding to trade postings.

It will be interesting to see where the next few weeks take me...