"Pre-Deployment" countdown

Eight days until I leave. Wow. Eight.

I'm experiencing what I expected to feel in these days, excitement, and a little nervous, setting out on such a new adventure. But I'm also feeling something I didn't expect - depression. Like a mafia thug in the movies, it was like I came home one night, and there he was, waiting for me in the dark - turning on the light, saying "Hello, sweetheart, miss me?" and I'm wondering how the hell he got in.

It's made me realize that I have never been away from home for this long - without bringing my home with me - ie, moving. Sure, I was gone for 5 weeks when my dad died - but that was being with my mom - and not something I was expecting. This is something altogether different. This is a conscious choice to leave all that I know and leap, completely, into the unknown.

I try to keep busy with all the last minute things I need to do, as well as clean and organize my house so the housesitter doesn't think too badly of me - but the truth is, I'm more than a little scared. I catch myself wondering, "Will I be good at this?" "Can I handle it all?" "Will they like me?" "Will they give me a hard time because I'm the new kid?" It's like starting junior high school all over again, only this time I don't get to go home to mom.

I know I'll be okay - it's just a little intimidating knowing it is almost time to jump...